disappointment

Have you ever wanted something so much but you end up not getting it?

I’m not talking about not getting concert tickets or clothes… I’m talking about getting into the school you wanted to attend this upcoming Fall…

For those who know me and my current future plan: I was planning on attending on of the top fifty schools for Computer Science. I had taken the transfer test and passed. I applied a month earlier than the early action date… I thought I did everything I had to do to attend this school. But… two nights ago when I was checking my email… I found out that I did not get in.

My body went into shock and I didn’t even notice that I was crying until I felt my cheek cold and wet… My parents told me it was okay and as of right now to just focus on my upcoming finals and finish strong. But to me… being accepted to this school meant so much to me… I know God has a bigger plan and the outcome will be even greater than what I originally planned but… the tears won’t stop. It’s gotten to the point where it’s hard to see the light in the midst of the darkness. It has made me more motivated to do better, strive for the best that I can be, it has given me motivation and determination… but at the same time… my heart… it’s already gone through so much this semester… hearing the news I was not accepted was what made it that much unbearable.

I have to be strong and continue to look at that light in the darkness even though it’s so dim… it’s not going to be easy… but I have people by my side who love me dearly who believe in me… even though I don’t believe in myself anymore…

This upcoming journey is going to be one hell of a ride… but it will be one that will be worth it.

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